There are many things I love about homeschooling conferences: meeting new people, the energy of a live audience, and the feeling of belonging. Being together as a large group of homeschoolers is balm for the loneliness we sometimes feel in this solitary endeavor. I enjoy hearing passionate speakers introduce new topics. Despite these perks, though, there are some disadvantages to these conferences. Only a few people are heard. (We don’t often hear from those that are just beginning their homeschool, or those that lack confidence and are teetering on the edge of their commitment.

There are many dimensions to success, but these ideas are the ones I often consider. In my experience, success is a brief moment; there is no fermata. Success is a glimpse. Homeschooling in the present tense gives me consistent glimpses of success, fleeting though they are. Success is easily identifiable progress. Success is the ability to concentrate on a single task. Success is completion of difficult academic coursework. Success is a broad education including many areas of study.

I know nothing about de-worming, but I sure like this image. I clipped it from a magazine years ago, and it makes me laugh every time I look at it. Perhaps those who aren’t currently homeschooling, but are considering homeschooling feel confused about the complexity of the task. De-worming doesn’t seem any simpler when I see a horse without legs. But, let’s have a closer look at the text below and see if we can apply it to homeschooling:

Is this how the professionals do it? While stumbling through a complex Calculus concept involving parametric equations, I wondered if there was a better way to help my student understand. What tips and tricks do Calculus teachers know that might help me here? Fortunately, searching for something this specific is feasible, and I can quickly learn what to do. But, there are other areas of homeschooling, as in any new endeavor, where we may wonder if we’re doing it the way the experts do it.

“You don’t own a laminator?!?” my friend responded with shock and surprise. “You’re a homeschooler, and I thought all homeschoolers would own one!” Nope. Not this homeschooler, and that doesn’t mean I’m not a “real” homeschooler. At what point can you decide you are authentically available for the label of “homeschooler”? Do you wait until you’ve officially offered notice to your local school board? Do you wait until you’ve taught your first lesson?

We may think our envy is innocent, but it has enormous impact. We begin by thinking, “I don’t have what I want.” We look around and notice someone who does have the thing we are lacking. Perhaps the thing we want is obedient children, or academic success, or financial security. We start to think about why they don’t deserve what they have. We pass judgment on them and their worthiness. If we can’t have it, we don’t want them to have it either.

Homeschooling allows us to honor choice rather than pressuring a child to conform. These thoughtful questions from Marshall Rosenberg cause us to step back and consider motivation: What would we like the child to do? What would we like the child’s reasons to be for doing it? The older our child becomes, the longer the list of “things we would like the child to do.” We want our child to study, to clean, to participate willingly in family time, to have initiative about helping around the house, to demonstrate love.

After she successfully intercepted a pass, my daughter’s opponent moaned, “It’s only because you’re so tall!” Certainly, there are times when height is a great advantage. My children and I are all remarkably tall. We can reach high shelves; we have long strides when we walk and run; we buy pants with 34” inseams. But, there are times when height matters not at all. When a peer jealousy whined, “you can only juggle that well because you’re tall!

Curation is the process of synthesizing content, and often includes displaying it in an appealing way. A curator mixes by making unexpected connections. A curator leads by predicting curiosity. A curator filters by honing down the quantity, finding the signal within the noise Curators are creators. Homeschoolers are creators. We can nurture environments that allow our children to meaningfully link related information. We can make space for ideas and thoughts that synthesize learning.

The bonsai tree collection at the National Arboretum is one of our favorite places to visit. I love the peaceful simplicity of these trees. Bonsai trees aren’t ostentatious. They demonstrate the effect of intentional care and attention rather than frills and excess. Seeing them reminds me to slow down and cultivate my most important priorities. Growing bonsai trees takes patience. Homeschooling takes patience. Results are often slow in coming. Time has a dominant role in both.